Published Somedays

Ride Pisgah, become a zombie

(updated: Feb 9, 2013)

What better time of year to turn into a zombie than October. Last time I went to the sports doctor he took x-rays of my knee and showed me where the "dead" tissue was located. Dead tissue? Yes, dead tissue, and he could go in there and cut it out if I wanted, otherwise I could just deal with it. "Holy crap", I thought, I have dead tissue in me.

Then, on our last Pisgah trip, coming down Trace Ridge, I took this trail that had an X marked on a tree. Who puts a big X on a tree? So naturally I went that way. Turns out the trail was so severely eroded that it became unrideable. Nonsense, I said, and proceeded to try to drop off of a large rock. Only it wasn't a rock, it was a rock lobster. Now that I have successfully implanted the B-52's in your head, it was a wet, slimy boulder. The moment I got my tires on it, the rock sent me sideways, where I landed on shin bone and my outer thigh. I hit so hard I could not get up for several minutes.

A week later I did the Brunswick Brawl race, my leg looking like this (I'll spare you the large size image):

That's still pretty nasty, but what you don't see is the swollen hematoma in the upper right corner. So finally I went to the doctor and sure enough, it's a hematoma, caused by turning some of my muscle meat into hamburger meat. And it will take 3 months for the swelling to go down, once the jello-like consistency of blood and what not gets reabsorbed by the body. Sometimes longer, like 6 months. There can also be some calcification. Great, more dead tissue.

Wow. I think I am turning into a zombie.

Here is me before:

And here is me after another six months of riding in Pisgah:

Note that I now ride a vintage cruiser bike and have gone totally green, except for my body, which is gray and mostly undead.

And here is me after a year of Pisgah riding. This is what happens when you use your face as a brake pad:

(Thanks to Randy for the app tip)

What happens in Pisgah, stays in Pisgah? Yeah I don't think so. It's more like: What happens in Pisgah, turns you into a zombie.
What happens in Pisgah, stays in Pisgah

The mist on Spencer Gap. It makes roots and rocks deadly.
Spencer Gap.

Yes, we have roots. Don't come here.

I don't care what the signs say:
Welcome to the cycling capital of the South

Welcome to the cycling capital of the South

We're glad you're here. They don't really mean that. It's really like old southern hospitality, where people say, y'all come back now, but they don't really want you to come back.

Now Wilmington, that's where these signs belong. Because they just love cyclists in Wilmington. Love them to death.

Happy zombification,


Filed Under: Ride Reports > North Carolina > Brevard

Google Earth (.kml) files and GPS eXchange (.gpx) files.
Park at Fish Hatchery on FS475. Shuttle up FS475B to FS225 to start of Cove Creek. Down Cove Creek to Caney Bottom to Cove Creek group camp area. Up FS475 to Long Branch. Down Long Branch to Butter Gap. Down Butter Gap to parking. Tracks incomplete - missing Butter Gap.


1. Randy said...

They are rerouting part of the trace ridge downhill. That is the old part, and you saw why its getting redone.

With all the zombie photo apps, that was the best you could do?

Oct 22, 2012 @ 11:40 AM

2. SBA said...

An app that turns my photo into a zombie? Sweet! Nothing like using technology to speed the process.

Oct 22, 2012 @ 2:01 PM

3. Randy said...

I can't believe I know something about technology that you don't. Get zombie booth for your phone.

Use it to photograph dogs or cats. Tricky, but worth it.

Oct 23, 2012 @ 10:36 AM

4. Sir Glide Bikes said...

I seen SBA wipe out a few times over the last 7 years, but that was scary watching him moan in pain and take a full 5 min to get up. I was thinking how the hell are we going to get him off this mountain with a broken femur.
It looked bad!

Oct 26, 2012 @ 7:23 PM


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