Published Somedays

The Pumpkin Snatchers

(updated: Oct 30, 2012)

It is often said that people will steal anything not nailed down. That pretty much sums up last night around 12:30am when two women took my kids' pumpkins off of my front porch.

Here they are caught on camera:

My 7 yr old was pretty upset and angry, because he spent a half hour picking out the perfect pumpkin, and was all set to carve it today, when we discovered that it was no longer hanging around, waiting to get knifed.

Maybe they were saved from their annual senseless massacre by some pumpkin rescuing organization ... like PETA, only for pumpkins. But I checked on the Interwebs and was a bit disappointed to find out there is no such thing. From what I could discern on the web, saving them just meant eating them. So maybe they were hungry and were going to make pies or soup out of them. Or perhaps return them to my front porch in the form of pies. That would be totally awesome, seeing that I love pumpkin pie.

Nope, it was just good old fashioned drive-by thievery. I would at least have given them some credit if they were on foot and had to carry the damn things two miles down the road. Or better yet, portage them on a bike. But then I realized this is Wilmington, and even people that can't afford pumpkins can afford to leave their car running while they run into the grocery. And by grocery, I mean my house.

When I was a kid I used to grow pumpkins. In fact, one year I grew 47 of them, just because I could. I grew them here once, but there are some drawbacks to growing them in Wilmington. For one thing they mature too early, so now you have these pumpkins in the middle of July. What the hell am I going to do with pumpkins in the middle of the summer? So I stuck them in the frige, because "store in a cool, dry place" is non-existent in Wilmington in the summer, and unless you like the smell of rotting pumpkin, you have little choice. Turns out pumpkins are not ideally suited for the frige, because they are quite large, and you can't get anything else in there once you stick pumpkins in it (I imagine serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer would have a similar problem storing their victims' heads). I need a special gourd edition refrigerator.

The second thing is that the bugs get them here, such as the particularly insidious Squash Vine Borer. I ended up burning a crop of squash one year due to these bugs. So now I just do like most other folk and buy my pumpkins. But apparently there's an alternate method.

Here the older adult-like one makes off with the bigger one while the younger one gets faked out by a hollow plastic "dummy" pumpkin:
The Pumpkin Snatchers

So then she grabs the other one on the right side of the door:
The Pumpkin Snatchers

Then they get in their car and make off in "stealth mode", i.e., lights off:
The Pumpkin Snatchers

Then when in the clear hit the lights. Boom! They totally owned that. They must be like professional pumpkin stealers or something.
The Pumpkin Snatchers

Sorry, this is the best I could do this week. Still working on FAC Ride video.

Happy Pumpkin Stealing...


Filed Under: General Entries > North Carolina > Wilmington


1. Sir Glide Bikes said...

Man she was wearing Ugg boots so they must have had $$!
They bored house wives.

Oct 31, 2012 @ 8:59 AM

2. Sir defies-a-lot said...

college kids pranking?

Nov 2, 2012 @ 8:52 AM

3. Michael said...

They struck again...I went out to Blue Clay for a lunch ride and there were a bunch of roots missing from the trail!

Nov 2, 2012 @ 2:25 PM


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